How Many Are Not Here Today ? Raise Your Hand
Taking Attendance, Democrat Style, by Lucas J. Mather
It was the first day of class, and the professor grabbed the attendance roster, which had 25 names on it, and he said “we need 15 people for the class to go and for me to get paid and more importantly, from a Republican perspective, for you to LEARN and get educated [those are exactly switched in the Democrat perspective], so let me just …actually this way will be faster: How many *are not* here today?, raise your hand if you’re not here.”
One smiling student raised his hand out of the 13 students present, and the professor notated 1 absence , so from 25 names, minus 1, so therefore 24 present , he calculated, using deductive reasoning.
“Next,” the professor said: “a little ice breaker. How many of you have been intellectually molested by Democrats since you were 5, roughly? Sit there and look bored if that’s the case,” the professor said raising his index finger ready to count bored faces.
Only one student sat there beaming a bright and energetic smile, the same one who was absent. The others crinkled their brows and glanced around, lazily, so early in the morning. “So, everybody, except one, okay, yep, okay, well what you need then is a Republican professor to help.”
He began walking to the door. “I’ll go get you one, hold on”, he said, leaving.
The students heard some talking out in the hallway , and the door opened, and what appeared to be the same professor walked in the class. He looked like the same guy. And he sounded the same, too. He said, “Happy to fill this urgent need. This class will be group therapy for all the intellectual , moral, and spiritual abuse that has been foisted upon your souls and minds. Join me in prayer: Lord, bless this class to our minds and souls. Refresh us with knowledge , wisdom , and understanding . In the name of the one by whom we set our official government calendar years, with tax money, Amen.”
No one moved. They all just sat there with their mouths open.
Except the one home-schooled kid smiling , rocking back and forth in ecstasy, the only one with no coffee.
“Now, let’s get started,” the professor said. And he began to speak while he wrote on the board.
Copyright Lucas J. Mather, 2019
All Rights Reserved
Originally Posted to Facebook Sunday 28 July 2019 at 10:05 am
“Now, let’s get started,” the professor said. And he began to speak while he wrote on the board.
Copyright Lucas J. Mather, 2019
All Rights Reserved
Originally Posted to Facebook Sunday 28 July 2019 at 10:05 am
