Professor, I’m a Little Frustrated

A Dialogue About What That Means, by Lucas J. Mather
Context: at a University.

Hey prof, I’m a little frustrated.

Is “little” an adverb or an adjective?

Huh? uh, ad…jective.

And is “frustrated” an adjective? Recall, adjectives modify or describe a person, place, or thing.

Uh, yeah. Adjective.

So, you’re saying you’re a little, frustrated *man*?

No, I’m a little frustrated, professor.

Oh, so you’re a professor, now?

No.

But a little one.

No.

A frustrated one.

No. I’m a little frustrated.

Are you using “frustrated” as a noun?

I guess.

So, it would make sense if I saw you in the hall and I pointed at you and said you were a frustrated?

Um. No. Okay adjective.

And “little” is an adjective, isn’t that what you said?

Yes.

Well, then you’re saying you’re a little, frustrated man. You need a noun. The noun being modified is “man.” Right?

I’m like 6,9. I’m on the basketball team.

Yeah, but how much do you weigh?

270.

Oh, well then it’s false that you’re a little, frustrated man. Because you aren’t little. You’re a large, frustrated man. But that’s an issue of truth v. falsehood, not grammatically what you mean.

Prof, I’m a little frustrated.

Maybe what you mean is not that you’re a person, but that you’re a place. Recall, nouns can be person, places, or things.

?

Maybe you mean you’re a little, frustrated place. Like Topeka.

What? No, don’t knock Kansas.

I’m not knocking Kansas. I’m trying to understand what you mean.

Or, maybe you meant that you’re a little, frustrated thing. Like a sock that never gets used, not even on Christmas.

LOL.

Oops, I’m not supposed to say “Christmas” on a government campus even though it’s an official public holiday going back to the founding of our wonderful country you guys are privileged to call home. I meant, not even on “winter break.” Because of the Democrats.

LOL.

Or, nouns can also be times. So, maybe you meant you’re a little, frustrated time. Like , the hour before the just imposition of the death penalty by a lawful authority on the guilty.

I’m against the death penalty.

No you’re not.

Yes I am professor.

No you’re not.

Yes I am.

Are not.

Yes I am.

So, if someone flayed your mother publicly , slowly, in order to humiliate you, you don’t think that it’s true that that person deserves to die?

How I personally feel is that, yes, for me that would be painful to me personally but that doesn’t mean..

I didn’t ask a feeling question. I asked what you think the answer is to true/false question.

Okay.

True or false, sometimes people deserve to die for what they do?

Uh. Like…

If someone were to lynch a black man, an innocent black man, true or false, that man, the lyncher, deserves to lose his life?

I can’t necessarily say if that man is really guilty. He might be innocent.

[I let this sit for a while, because, wow–notice that’s exactly what Democrats have thought about lynching blacks in the past–I point this out later].

In the hypothetical I gave, the person was stipulated to be guilty. Lynching is by definition unjustified.

Okay. Well, as a Christian….

Oh, so you believe that Jesus languished in prison for your sins. Maybe got out early for good behavior. Not his, but yours.

LOL, no. I mean…

You mean?

Christians aren’t supposed to be for the death penalty. That was for like the Old Testament.

So, Jesus was mistaken in thinking he needed to die for your sins? St. Paul was mistaken when he said, boom boom, back to back in his letter to the church at Rome that “all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God,” and “the wages of sin is death”? The central Christian symbol is a Roman system of execution–a cross. Not prison bars. A cross. A brutal method of execution that we don’t even use any more.

Okay.

Look, man, you brought this on yourself when you said “little” was an adjective. Did you mean “little” as an adverb?

Uh, what’s an adverb?

We can talk about that, or we can go back to talking about the death penalty.

I should probably figure out what an adverb is, first, professor

LOL, I agree. This stuff used to be taught in public schools. And kids used to pay attention. That was when budgets were smaller, there were no video games, we called Christmas “Christmas” and most Democrats didn’t believe in relativism. You’re going to learn a lot this semester.

I can tell.

Are you still a large, frustrated man?

No, I’m interested now. You have my attention.

Copyright Lucas J. Mather, 2016
All Rights Reserved
Originally Posted to Facebook Thursday 14 July 2016 at 10:03 am